On the Eleven-Month Anniversary of My Marriage


I would like to take this moment to tell everyone that these eleven months have been perfect.  Did you get that italicized emphasis there?  I said perfect.

We have never had a fight, especially not over whether “Cauliflower and Potato Pie” is similar to Shepherd’s Pie leading to 10 minutes of mutual silent treatment followed by one hour of “talking things out.”  Never.  Nothing even close to something “disharmonious” like that. 


In fact, I’ve smiled, laughed, and kissed so much this year I had to get medical helpfor over-using my jaw!  But, Atticus tells me my huge, mouth-guard-like retainer is adorable, sexy, and not being able to understand what I’m saying just adds to my “mystique.”

I even lost 25 poundsafter we trained for and ran a triathlon to benefit sea otter habitats and the homeless.  Now we jog the 10 miles to work everyday.  Holding hands.  Because we love each other!

Atticus even bakes our own bread, out of whole wheat.  It even tastes good!  And he’s never even accidentally caught a kitchen towel on fire and scorched our kitchenaid mixer to blackness or anything crazy like that.

Being married has made me into a chef, too.  Literally.  Everything I do in the kitchen is amazing!  I even chopped up the entire bottom of a wooden spoon in our blender, on purpose, just to show Atticus how good I can make wood taste in a smoothie!

(so good)

And one time, we were sent a pseudo-eviction warning one month because we entirely forgotto pay the rent–we were just so distracted with each other’s eyes and amazing personalities… and rousing strip UNO tournaments that we always finished because we never would fall asleep after the first two hands, ever.  Who does that, right?

So, I just thought the internet would like to know that there hasn’t been a single hiccup, misstep, goof, shock, learning experience, or mistake in this blissful union thus far.  And, with the one year mark fast approaching, we’re just set up for forever perfection I guess.  If the first year is the hardest, then we’ve got it made.



Filed under Matrimanity

4 responses to “On the Eleven-Month Anniversary of My Marriage

  1. Kent

    Glad you have such a perfect marriage. But my marriage is perfecter than yours. Except we’ve never done strip UNO.

    Pinto: Hooray! Someone commented in a way that showed me they understood the satirical tone of it! I was getting really, really, really worried…

    Also. Strip Uno. Great game. Intense is the word, really.

  2. atticus

    Sea otters? Really? I mean, at least it’s not dolphins, but did it have to be a mammal?

    charismatic megafauna…. ;-)

  3. I knew you couldn’t be serious because you don’t have 25 pounds to lose! (Though for a split second I thought, wait…she didn’t tell me about a TRIATHLON…wait…you can’t run holding hands…wait…)

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