How to Have the Worst Interview of your Life

All you have to do is begin this way:

Interviewer: Okay, so this interview is for fill-in-blank internship and we’re excited to have you here today.  We’ll be looking forward to working with the final candidate this summer in Antarctica/Siberian Gulag/Saharan Desert/Some Other Completely Impossible Place for you to Live.   So, let’s get started with some questions.  First, do you have any for us?

Me: Actually, yes.  I just wanted to clarify something.  I was under the impression that this fill-in-blank internship could be done elsewhere.  For example, Bermuda/Ski Resort/My Actual Home?

Interviewer:  :: awkward silence::  Ahhhhh…I see.   Well, actually, no.  We’re only interested in people who are willing to move to The Somme in 1916/Gang-ridden Marijuana Farms/Not where you need to be living this summer.

Me: Ahhh…I see.

Interviewer: ::silence::

Me: ::silence::

Interviewer: Well!  Let’s start our 45 minute interview!

Taa daa!!

In other “I’m not getting that internship in this life or the next” news, Atticus is having his own job interview today.  Since they aren’t asking him to move to a Gulag, it’s going to go very well.  Go Atticus, go!

However, regardless of how many times I tell him that he’ll be shiny and great, he still gave me the “why are you leaving me when I’m about to die?” face when I said goodbye this morning.

It looked a lot like this

Melodramatic Atticus is going to be amazing today.  Mark my words, phone interview people.

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1 Comment

Filed under Funny Story, Matrimanity

One response to “How to Have the Worst Interview of your Life

  1. Dani

    This sounds awful. But I love your sense of humor.

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